Damn!

Well, its been a while since I’ve made a post, been having a pretty hard time recently.

We had to take my dog to the vet the other day, she’s had cancer and had a tumor…we were given a diagnosis a year ago that she’d only be able to go for 2 months, we had her for an additional 14, and without any pain we were comfortable having her stay with us…as the vet put it “she doesn’t know she’s sick, so as long as she isn’t in pain, she’ll be fine.”

So, we brought her home started feeding her only home cooked food, and making sure she got lots of extra outside time and loving, well it paid off and I got to have my sweet girl around for a while longer…but, as I didn’t want to have her be in any pain at all, the second I realized she was having pain we took her into the vet, and they confirmed the suspicion, so we did the humane thing, and didn’t keep her around being in pain.

As I was saying goodbye and tears were streaming down my face and onto her greying hair, I thought about all the times I had cried into her fur and she always laid right there and allowed me to release my pain with no judgement, especially when I had no one else around. She was an angel…that’s for sure.

Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things ive ever done, but it was her time, I do miss her every second of everyday though, especially when she would be on my heels, and now she isn’t…im still having bouts of crying and missing her next to me.

In time I may get another dog, but not right now. Being a CF patient brings with it a lot of weird things regular people just won’t ever have to think about…I honestly thought I wouldn’t be here without her. Going through the shit I go through without her is miserable, and I have to remember to keep my head up where before she would bring a smile to my face.

I miss her…

Spoiled little lady

Well, here we are it’s Saturday evening, I am feeling much better after that spat of CF rundown I dealt with for several weeks.  YES!!

I woke up today, and checked my phone for messages, emails, missed calls, etc. I went through the emails, responded to the texts, and called back the one person who I needed to call back before the week.

Then I got up and did my morning routine, had my bottle of water with my 10 +pills, and a few doughnuts, with my coffee then a yogurt. Yum…lol.

After I finished that up I took my dog Mollie out, and we frolicked around a bit she loves this weather, not too hot not too cold, and super windy. Then we came in and got a treat for the spoiled little lady. She is such a sweetie, and she brings me so much joy and happiness when I am down, and even lifts me up further than I am when I’m feeling good.

So, we came in and I went to the bathroom, and grabbed a quick shower, and got dressed.

After I had a few mins to relax after all of my morning routine, which included coughing up a lung, luckily I didn’t puke today…lol…yay! So, sometimes I don’t even think about that stuff but want to include it on my blog so y’all can see what days are like for me. But, often I forget because I’m used to it…it’s an everyday thing. So after about 30-45 mins I am good to go.

I flipped off my music, nd turned on my TV, because its Saturday which means College Basketball all day! So I put my DVR on and went to make some snacks, drinks, etc.

I made some vanilla cinnamon spiced tea, and another coffee, as well as a nice glass of milk, to go with the peanut butter/honey sandwich, crackers, and chicken noodle soup I whipped up.

So I brought it all up to my room, and started in the games…going through the ones I wanted to watch and skipping the ones I wasn’t to fond of or that better ones were on instead at the same time. Meanwhile, munching on the goodies I had prepared after my shower.

Well, now it is about 645pm and I’m still going on the basketball games, but I also realized that Lord of the Rings is on…the new ones…so I flipped over to the basketball games so I could DVR the 3 LOTR movies instead.

Now, I’m waiting until I have those backed up enough that I can fast forward through the commercials (I hate commercials…lol) and am finished up my tea, and talking with my family about what were going to do for dinner…thinking about a mini Thanksgiving dinner, one of my favorites!

Anyways, that’s how my Saturday post CF rundown is going and I hope all of yall’s are going well also, as I don’t get much time where I feel this good, I wanted to write and show y’all that I’m not always downtrodden…I am sometimes very uplifted and fun, who knew? Haha, sometimes I have to force myself to remember how much fun I used to be, and doing so brings it to the surface a bit more.

But, I am going to go enjoy the rest of my day, probably snack a bit more before dinner, and maybe even have an adult beverage in a bit, especially if we have turkey for dinner, it makes me feel in Holiday-ish mood. Sooo, everyone have a great rest of the weekend, enjoy your family and friends, and don’t forget to reach out to someone if you know they are going through a tough time, as call from a buddy or “bff” can really lift someone’s spirits and not expecting a call and getting one makes it that much more appreciated, even if they forget to say so…

LOL, my little lady is sitting here laying on my feet, she obviously want to go out again, and since its such a beautiful day I will make a drink and go sit outseid with her until she gets bored, then we will come back in have a treat, “rinse and repeat.” Love this little goofball!! I’m out, thanks for reading…