This past weekend, I was going through my cable box movies, and sometimes for a day here or there, or even a weekend I notice that the “premium channels” HBO, ShowTime, Cinemax, etc. are open. Now, I watch a good bit of TV, but I’ve been trying to consciously reduce the amount of time I spend bingeing TV or movies, with CF that’s easier to say than do though.
When you’re laying up in bed after being in the bathroom for several hours, or you haven’t been able to keep food down because you’re coughing so much, TV is one of the easier ways to “escape.” Therefore, it becomes almost like a friend, you desire good TV and are mad when nothing is on or your cable provider is giving you a hard time.
Like I said though I’m kind of a frequent binge watcher, I can literally watch 2,3 movies in a row or kill an entire season of a show in 1 day and 1 night. So, it’s one of those things that is kind of like social media in that its annoying sometimes and doesn’t always go the way you would like it to, but its really nice having it when you need it.
Recently I was scrolling through my on demand options and noticed that all the premium channels were open, so I jumped right in…I watched several great movies, ones that I’ve been wanting to see but didn’t want to buy, or forgot about until I saw their title again. I watched “Legend” with Tom Hardy, AMAZING movie, right up my alley. I also watched the new “Fantastic 4,” which I found to be kind of boring and stale, especially with the cast they had available to them, it was just scripted weird and predictable. Then I watched the “Imitation Game” which I’ve seen before and is one of my favorite movies, but more so because Benedict Cumberbatch is a bad ass actor. I like this whole wave of European 25-40 year old actors that have taken over the movie scene in the past 10 or so years: Tom Hardy, Benedict Cumberbatch, Christian Bale, Gerard Butler, Daniel Craig, etc. After I had a chance to search through what was available, I also watched “Triple 9,” which was a little bit of a letdown, and not very well cut together. Finally, I watched “Burnt” with Bradley Cooper, and that wasn’t what I expected, but in a good way. It was super intense, but very good and I’m a fan of the guy from “the American’s” on FX who was basically his nemesis, or rival chef.
All in all I had a couple of days there where I was just zoned into the TV and being able to escape like that for someone like me with Cystic Fibrosis, or any terminal illness where time can almost stand still while you feel like shit, but fly by on the days when you are feeling ok, or even good is an absolutely amazing feeling Being that most of the time any escape is just a less of two evils type of thing i.e. if my stomach isn’t feeling so great today I won’t notice as vividly the ability to not be able to eat, or that I’m coughing up a bunch of nastiness. And on the flipside, if my breathing is raspy and I cant get a full breath, the last thing on my mind is how my stomach feels even though it doesn’t feel good, my preoccupation with my breathing takes the focus away from one and puts it on the other.
Funny as it is though sometimes neither matters, and I cant breath, I’m stuck in the bathroom , I’m sore and achy, I’m coughing up a lung, and bleeding out every orifice of my dysfunctional body. Those days are my “hell,” the other days are my normal, and as I get older the day that seem like hell are steadily becoming my normal and what I now consider “normal” are becoming the good ones…LOL it sucks, hands down.
So, with that being as much as I can get out of my fogged out brain today, I will say good afternoon, and hopefully everyone has a good rest of the week. Follow me on Twitter @William85887, and pass this blog along to someone you know whos going though a hard time, maybe it will allow them to forget about their bullshit, by focusing on mine for a bit. I appreciate any who have stopped to check this site out, it means a lot to me. Feel free to message me on here or Twitter, with any questions, comments, advice, etc. I’m always open to meeting new people and hearing new, stories, ideas, or POV’s.
CF Life tip of the day: Don’t let your anger or frustration with your situation dictate how you treat people, always be kind, and if you feel like you’re going to “blow up” go close yourself in a room take 5-10 deep breaths, and try to think about the positive interaction you have had with that person. Not blowing up on someone when you don’t really mean to direct anger at them is a great feeling, and after a couple of times of harnessing in your aggression or negative feeling of any kind, it will become easier, and each time it feels a bit more satisfying.
CF Life Body Hack # 6: If you have to go somewhere and you don’t want to be coughing the whole time, which draws all kinds of weird looks, and unwanted attention, buy a pack of the most “natural” cough drops you can find. Take a few with you, and when you’re going to be around people pop one in your mouth and moisten it, but don’t keep sucking on it Then, tuck it back next to your jaw where you jaw meets your ear in between your gum and teeth. Now don’t do this all the time as stopping the natural reaction of your body coughing is not a good thing. But, if you need a hour here and there where you aren’t coughing up a lung or don’t want puke in front of a bunch of strangers this is a very good little trick.