Fighting Sleep

So, its almost 1am…I had pretty busy day today. From my last post you might have seen I thought I really fucked up my mouth (please excuse my vulgarity I’m half asleep and I’m just freewriting) .

Well, it turns out I didn’t do as much damage as I thought I did…I did break a tooth but I only knocked off a piece that was obviously pretty weak anyways, and it was on a tooth that has been giving me trouble for some time, as I have a pretty serious ADEK vitamin deficiency (thanks Cystic Fibrosis). But, I didn’t mess up any of my other ones when I crunched down on it, or at least as far as I can tell I didn’t. Not to say it didn’t suck, and hurt like hell, because it did! But, if I get in to the dental office in the next couple weeks I should be able to get it handled, or that’s what I’m hoping.

However, I sucked it up and passed out last night because I had stuff to do today. A bunch of stuff that again I have been putting off because I’ve been feeling shitty lately finally got done…yay!

I went to the eye doctor and got an exam and a new pair of glasses. And hopefully in a couple weeks ill go back and get some new contacts as well.

I went to the Verizon store because my phone is glitching  like crazy and in a few days I’m gonna go back and pick up my new phone! I’ve had the same one for about 5 years, and since I found out today smartphones only have about a 2-year shelf life, I got a pretty good amount of use out of it.

I stopped by the grocery store to stock up the mini fridge I keep in my room, when I’m too tired or weak to go downstairs this thing is a lifesaver. I keep things like Gatorade’s, yogurt, waters, applesauce, sandwiches (that I make 3-4 at a time and put in baggies) and some drinks: chocolate milk, OJ, ginger ale, etc.

Then I went back and picked up my glasses, as I didn’t realize they had a 1-hour glasses thing I was super excited since for a few weeks I’ve been wearing a pair that is superglued together after I dropped them and then stepped right on them, on a wood floor no less ahh…lol.

Anyways, all in all it was a pretty good day, even though I still had my regular CF pain and stuff: stomach aching, tight chest, coughing up a lung, however, I didn’t have to puke in any bushes from coughing…so that’s a win in my book.

Then I got home and had some dinner, then a couple of oranges, and a bunch of grapes…yummy! Played some PlayStation: NBA Live, and Call of Duty…tomorrow I may whip out the Skyrim. as I don’t have a job currently I have a good bit of free time. Which to be honest Is good because of how sick I’ve been.

Now, I’m sitting here watching Washington vs Arizona State…fighting my heavy eyelids so I can get this blog post up. In the hopes that NIKE, PLAYSTATION, or some other commercial entity will somehow see this and decide they want to sponsor me or have me as a brand ambassador…lol…hey I can dream right?

Hope y’all had a good day, and a have a goodnight!

 

 

 

Super Bowl, RISE UP Falcons!

This is my second blog today, but it is Friday, and it is also a couple of days away from the Super Bowl. Now, I’m not a huge NFL guy…my sport is basketball, and my addiction/hobby is Golf, lol. However, I enjoy the fact that my city’s team is going to the ship! It’s been a while, so it’s nice, especially since it is one of those things that brings us together as a group of like-minded citizens, of the same community, all pulling for the same outcome. It’s a great thing to witness the crap we see, and deal with on a daily basis put aside for the love of the game.

So, hopefully I am going to be going to a buddy’s house down in the city of Atlanta to see him for a bit, probably watch the first half with him and his wife, as well as a few close friends. Then I am going to be heading back North to around where I live where a good family friend is throwing a Super Bowl block party, and it should be a lot of fun. Also, a few of my fraternity brother’s are going to be there with their wive’s, and being that I don’t get to see them often I am very excited.

Now, I am going to give a quick few tips about doing things like this with a condition like CF, or anything that requires lots of medications and making sure certain things are present or available. So here goes: Don’t stuff yourself the day before a day when you are going to be eating and drinking a lot, you will feel less lethargic and have more energy for the big day. Wake up and turn on some good music, music that you like to jam out to. Straighten up your surrounding a bit, as returning to a nice clean house/room is very pleasant, and reduces stress. Exercise! You will be eating and drinking a lot during the day of the game, usually “junk food” type stuff, and soda’s, beer, etc. This will give your body a good start to the day, and make room for all that good grub! After you get dressed, grab an extra change of clothes, just in case you spill a drink or sit on a plate of wings. Also, get all of your stuff together and load it up, then look at it a couple of times to make sure you have all of the things you need. After that, just get yourself ready and head out. Drive carefully, as the drunk folks will be out, in high numbers. But, enjoy the day, the game, the company of good friends and family, and the experience as a whole…getting to a Super Bowl is a big deal, everyone will be elated, and this will rub off on you.

Well, that’s about it for the Super Bowl festivities, and the day in general. Like I said, I hope everyone has a great time, and gets to watch a good game of football. To my Falcon fan’s RISE UP and let’s win this thing!!

CF Life tip of the day: An empty bottle cleaned and dried out, then lined with a plastic baggy is a great way to carry a re-usable spit bottle around. When you’re almost full, zip the baggy up, and throw it away, then put in a new one. Boom! Now you have to only bring 1 bottle for a day, and off to the races…you’re good to go for the whole day. For the cost of a couple plastic baggies.

CF Life Body Hack # 4: Keep a couple of small bottles of honey around the places you spend most of your time. It is an incredible superfood, and it tastes great! Also ,it is not possible for honey to go bad, it just crystalizes. If that happens stick in next to your body in your pocket for the body heat or pop in the microwave for a few minutes, and back to liquid it goes. It can coat your throat if you cough a lot, your esophagus & stomach lining if you’re having a lot of reflux. Alongside all of that it is great for a quick healthy pick me up, just pour a couple of spoonful’s down your gullet, and go about your day. Enjoy!

Cystic Fibrosis Late Night

Damn, I just had a late night “CF Attack,” these things suck! So, it’s 1:30 A.M., I haven’t been asleep but maybe 30-45 minutes, and boom I wake up coughing really hardcore…so much I ended up in the bathroom throwing up. Well, after I finish throwing up my stomach is in knots, I wait in the bathroom for a bit just in case, and then take a quick shower so I go back to bed. Well, now I’m laying in bed wrapped up in a bathrobe, and towel…but, I’m freezing my ass off because it dropped down so cold tonight, especially being that this afternoon was like 70º, this sucks badly. Also, I’m still coughing, and since I can’t go back to sleep like this I’ll probably be up for the next few hours being nauseous, cold, sore, with tense abdominals, and a horribly tight chest …oh yeah, don’t forget the heaving headache.

Lol, I know, as ridiculous as it sounds to deal with this is pretty commonplace. I’d say this happens at least once a day, sometimes I can go a few days without one, but then some days it happens all day long. Those are my hellish CF day’s…spent in the bedroom, or bathroom. Moreover, I usually can only consume Chocolate Boost’s, and yogurt on those days, as that is all my stomach will allow. But, now I’ve got to get my appetite up enough to eat something before I try to go back to sleep…yay…the fun of CF (sarcasm), lol. Sorry, if I don’t laugh at my problems I’d be a basket case!

I wanted to share this with y’all in real time, just to give you a better glimpse into the daily CF symptom’s forced upon us, and the toll it takes on our body. Everyone who has CF knows exactly what I am feeling like right now, and I hate that. Anyway, I am gonna try to  eat a yogurt, or something, and watch some on demand shows…maybe a movie. So, I say Goodnight to y’all, and if you’re reading this I appreciate it. If you know someone with Cystic Fibrosis reach out to them, if you’re dealing with CF it’s comforting sometimes just having that friend you can call to shoot the breeze with, someone to pull you out of the messed up head state instances like tonight throw you into so violently.

Jammin Out!

Not too much is better than catching an old song you haven’t heard in a while…that nostalgic feel comes rolling in almost pulling you back into that time totally.

I have been trying to add some different stuff to my blog to reach a wider variety of readers, pull them in hopefully then they’ll see my other stuff, and start following my site or Twitter, etc. So, today I’m sitting here going through old Facebook posts, looking at old pictures, and jamming out to tunes back from college days, and there isn’t much of a better feeling than getting into that groove. I love it!

I had a rough couple of days there with the CF, but am feeling a bit better today, and in a bit I’ll have to go run some errands. Catch up on the pile of shit on my overloaded plate, and try to taper back on the overflow of procrastinated chores of daily life with or without CF…but, I revel in these days, the days that allow me to look back at the previous and realize I do have GOOD days, and they aren’t all BAD…it’s hard to pull yourself out of the moment when a day is bad or when stuff isn’t going your way. However, when those good ones roll around it makes you appreciate them that much more. So, if you’re having a bad day, week, month…just try to keep your head up and press on. Hopefully at some point it will ease up and allow you to enjoy the good, but appreciate the bad for allowing your to notice the good. And, with that I am going to go try to knock out some of these errands before the other shoe drops…lol. Hope everyone had/has a good day!

CF Life tip of the day: pick up a pack of sterile rubber gloves next time you are at the pharmacy…put a couple in baggies and keep some in your car, your favorite jacket, etc. The next time you have to pump gas, or use a public restroom, slip the gloves on and cut down on the chance that you’ll get some kind of nasty bacteria, or germs from stuff. Especially because people are so ignorant about good hygiene. It’s a huge stress reliever when you need to do something and there the gloves are…less worry!

CF Life Body Hack # 3: Feeling tired, or just out of it, having been sick the previous day? Go get a hot shave from a male hair salon. They will hot towel your face, head, and neck, use a straight razor with all the accoutrements of the trade…it is amazing how much a hot straight razor shave will improve your mood. Also, good grooming habits tend to make you feel better anytime. Enjoy!

UNC, Kentucky, Pittsburgh, Georgia

LOL, so it’s Tuesday night, and I’m sitting here watching basketball, munching on some dinner…I have my favorite teams set on TiVo, which is why I’m on a slight delay. Now, I realize there’s some players out sick from Kentucky. However, this is a strange basketball night to say the least! The Tar Heels just barely beat Pittsburgh, by a single FG…lol, um what??? Now, Kentucky in the first 3:00 against Georgia is getting run on 16-2.

Anyways, I am into the second of the two games now, so we’ll see if Coach Cal can pull this win off with some of his guys out sick, but again very surreal night of basketball…it happens. Hope everyone is having a good beginning of the week!

Follow me on Twitter @William85887…y’all have good night!

Living, not just Surviving.

Saturday morning…wake up, stretch, enjoy the fact that it’s the weekend, is there any better feeling after a long week? I don’t think so, and as I sit here typing  and listening to music with some college basketball in the background I revel in the joy simple things can bring. That is one of the hardest things I’ve come to discover about CF, is that if you don’t live when you can, you will only survive…and that isn’t any good at all. Sadly I’ve had times where I’m just surviving, but I’ve come to a point where I was so stressed, tired, angry, sad, depressed, everything was hell! Several years ago it hit me like a ton of bricks with razors embedded in them. I decided right then and there that was not going to be my mindset going forward. After a doctor appointment with my amazing head shrink I did it! I literally just quit with all the negativity, the yelling, the being mad, the hate, and the distrust in life. I walked out about 20 steps outside the building and that was it, I was done being miserable!

Now, please don’t get me wrong, life for me isn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination…it’s hard, it sucks, it makes me want to freak out. However, I now have control over my mental faculties to a point where I can be miserable all day, and still enjoy a drink, a good conversation, movie, book, anything…It is an amazing weight lifted, I was always walking around in a toxic head state. After having a few years of rational, reality based thoughts, and not losing my shit every time something happens I am in a much better place in general, but more specifically mentally I am solid. So, in my current situation, I deal with the same “problems,” I just handle them 50x better, and it’s amazing how it changes your outlook, your perception of life. It was a damn hard thing to accomplish, but it was worth the time, effort, self-doubt, self-loathing even to get to where I am now. If I hadn’t gotten better I would probably not be here anymore…which is weird to think that would’ve been what brought me down.

Anyways…lol…but, feeling better about life is a good thing no matter how far gone you seem it’s always possible to gather up your broken parts, put them together, and move forward. I did it, and so can you! I won’t be simple, straightforward, quick, or any form of basic nonchalance you can think of. In the end though it will be worth it, you’ll look back and smile at how far you’ve come. I believe all of us can attain our happy place in life, and with a little help from people with knowledge and experience it is absolutely able to be done. Having said that, if anyone whos reading this needs, or knows someone who needs a little bit of help/guidance please don’t hesitate to ask me…that’s is the point of my attempt at this site, and blog. I want to be there for the people who feel like there is nowhere else to turn and nothing good in sight…no light at the end of the tunnel is a horrid feeling. Please, do not feel like you’re alone, you aren’t and I would love to help you understand that. Lets change our perspective’s and be happy!! Hopefully everyone is having a great weekend, and enjoy the rest of it to the fullest!

CF Life tip of the day: Do not compare yourself to people who aren’t walking in your shoes, or who have never walked in shoes like yours…Trying to fit in is just human nature, but be happy with your place in life and find the places, people, and activities that make you the person you want to be. It pays dividends to be happy being YOU.

CF Life Body Hack # 2: As soon as you wake up drink a half-bottle of water before you do anything else, and then use the rest to take your morning meds, after that slam something nutritious into your stomach (yogurt, fruit, crackers, smoothie/milkshake) something you enjoy enough to use it most days. The water will lubricate your system, and loosen up mucus. The nutrition will give you the needed energy to get your day going while you tough out the difficult stuff (coughing, hacking, bathroom, etc.)

Your Weekend Plans…?

TGIF!! It’s Friday afternoon, and I love the feeling this day brings…it’s like a small holiday once a week, I’m weird I know, lol I’m glad I have the ability to laugh at myself though. So, yesterday I took a huge step outside of my comfort zone, and I posted a video on YouTube and blogged with a link to said video. Now I have 12 views, and a couple of new followers! I have to admit it scared me to put myself out there like that, but I did it, and am glad I did. As for me I’m going to start today, and use my weekend time to get a little more versed in the social media stuff I’ve been a little behind on. I’m going to update my Twitter, as it has been stagnant since its inception. I am probably going to look into Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, etc. to see what fits with my desired platform blueprints. Also, since my first video was kind of raw, and not very professional I am going to look into ways to better my recording process, and I think I will probably need a new camera as the one on my computer doesn’t seem to be very decent. If I had the money I’d just go right now and buy one, but ill have to figure something else out until I can swing that. I am super excited because I really feel like this is going to allow me to do what I want to do, and that is help people who feel like they’re alone, with nowhere to turn. It’s hard to put yourself out there not knowing what will become of the vulnerability you show, but so far it’s been worth it!!

Anyways, that is what I intend to do with my weekend, what about you? What are your plans? Going to a movie, party, or yummy restaurant…leave a comment and let me know. Also, I am going to do a social “mixer” at some point in the near future. I am not exactly sure how I am going to facilitate and accomplish this. However, I’ve got a couple ideas that will hopefully allow people to come together (probably virtually) and share some ideas and stories in real time. I will be trying out several new things on my site, blog, and YouTube channel so keep an eye out. Any ideas or suggestions are welcomed. Hopefully everyone had an ok week, but are ready to have a great weekend! Thanks for stopping by, it’s always very much appreciated.

CF Life tip of the day: Instead of using expensive box tissues, buy some cheap but soft rolls of toilet paper to keep near where you spend the majority of your time e.g. bed, car, desk, etc. That way you have something to cough into instead of your hand, tissues for your nose, and even a “napkin” in a pinch.

CF Life Body Hack # 1: Getting sore, uncomfortable, bored, or just not in a great mood? Go to an outside area where you can get some fresh air, give your entire body a good stretch. Now, starting at your feet flex then relax your muscles progressively moving upward all the way to your forehead, make sure your breathing is controlled and steady. You should notice immediate improvement in your mood, as well as physically being more comfortable.

 

Video #1 is uploading…

I just made a post on here about 30 minutes ago, and I wasn’t even sure at the time however, I have decided to create some video content and upload it to YouTube. It is actually in the process of uploading right now. Disclaimer: It is the first video of any kind I have ever done, and it is raw. It isn’t polished, and in HD, and all of that yet because I don’t really know how to go about doing that stuff. As I’ve stated in previous blogs, I am not up to par on all of the social media platforms and stuff like everyone else just naturally progressed into. So, as I go I will be learning, I will improve upon both this and my videos, as I hope to be able to create a sustainable platform for myself and people like me, or even just curious strangers who wish to take a peek into the life of someone who focuses on their health 90% of the time because it is necessary. Hopefully you can pop over and check it out, I will put the information and maybe a link up as it finishes. Any advice, constructive criticism, help, anything like that is welcomed as I am definitely a noobie.

As I said I would come back after the upload…my video has finished. Please take into account it is the first video I’ve ever done of any kind, so please be gentle…lol. Just kidding, let me know what’s wrong with it, how I can make it better, aside from the obvious (lighting, timing, etc.) any constructive criticism is welcomed and much appreciated…if it even reaches one person and gives them a bit of knowledge, helps them cope with difficulties in their life, or even just informs someone who has a friend with a terminal illness, then I’ve succeeded at what I was going for.

Video #1 is uploading…

Affording Cystic Fibrosis

It’s about 4pm on Thursday, and I’m sitting here trying to figure out what to do with myself…I’m having one of those days, CF is particularly rough but some days are much worse than others. Today is one of those days, I woke up hacking, and haven’t been able to catch my breath since. So, in trying to distract myself I was calculating some of my finances for the past couple of months, and months to come. I’ve figured out I’m basically f#cked, and it’s hitting me pretty hard. Strangely I don’t qualify for certain health insurance or “aid” programs, literally none of them. I applied in September the last time and got a prompt letter back denying any financial help. I’m super frustrated because CF is an invisible illness, and it’s recognition is sparse. Anyways, as of now I’m only a small amount behind, and thinking of every possible way I can to try to catch up but I’m definitely “behind the 8-ball.” Since a few years ago it’s been a game of cat and mouse trying to get these government agencies who are supposed to be there to help people like me to even respond to my requests for further information on denial of aid. But, if I keep this train of thought it is going to ruin my whole day, so I’m going to quit my complaining now, and try to do something positive to keep my mind occupied.

Hope everyone is having a bit of a better day than I am, thank goodness the weekend is almost here…ahhh.

70° in the middle of January…

So, it’s 70° in the middle of January…this is absolutely nuts, a week ago it was snowing and getting down to single digits, and now its 70°+. This is extremely aggravating when you leave the house prepared with for your day with jeans and a Patagonia on, and then halfway through the day you are stripping down to your undershirt and rolling your pant legs up as you drive so you don’t sweat you a$$ off all day!

However, on that note it is beautiful golf weather, my favorite hobby or outdoor activity, but I’m usually used to waiting until March to play. So, maybe i’ll throw the golf bag in my car and head up and play 9-18 in a bit, as I finished working very early this morning…didn’t sleep much last night. Anyways, I hope everyone is enjoying this weird weather, the end.