Love the sound of rain…

I haven’t been posting as much which is going to change shortly, as my health comes back around after the changing of the seasons that happens to screw me every year almost like clockwork…I am going to start getting my shit together and doing what I need to do.

However, I have learned over the years what “pushing it” can do and I’m not gonna be stupid anymore…so, I’m taking it slowly…but, expect more like a post a day or at least a couple a week coming up.

So, right now I just got done showering, I’ve been super busy the last couple of days trying to catch up on stuff after a surgery, and general CF stuff, as well as Spring cleaning, and all kinds of other stuff going on…we’ll just say my schedule is jacked the hell up.

But, back to my topic….rain. I’m sitting here listening to music and I have now turned it off, so I can listen to the rain, I love the rain…it relaxes, de-stresses, and allows for a “white noise” type of sound that can be used to enhance an already relaxing task like meditation.

So I am about to mediate and I am loving that its raining because now I don’t need any Zen music to play, I have the rain…lol.

I guess this was kind of a weird all over the place post…it is kind of my brushing the cobwebs off post. Getting my typing skills back down and used to being used on a daily basis for something other than mundane tasks.

Well, I am done rambling…lol. Hopefully everyone has a great weekend.

The Return…

So, it has been a pretty long time since I’ve posted anything, I haven’t been doing too well health wise, but trying to keep my spirits up.

I had some really bad CF rundown, and then a week ago I had a broken tooth extracted…that’s 3 now in less than 2 years, ughhh!

But, I don’t want to let this blog go stagnant, however I have to admit it has been low on my list of priorities, especially being in pain and not being able to take pain medicine…I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I have had a problem with pain meds in the past, doctors will fuck you up if you’re not careful…

Anyways, I’m doing a good bit better now, still not totally healed up, but on my way for sure…hopefully!?

After my Mollie girl left us, I had a pretty rough couple of weeks, then an extraction and now I’m finally starting to come out the other side, but its a bitch to say the least.

However, I am a strong willed person and I wont let things defeat me anymore, besides killing me I’m not gonna stop. So, good…but, kind of morbid I know, lol…

Well, I just wanted to get back into the swing of things and get y’all updated on my situation…im not dead…lol! I hope everyone has had a good spring break, Easter, or anything you’ve been up to really…

And finally, I will be posting regularly again, and am actually thinking about upgrading my site subscription for some different benefits and more personalization, maybe starting to branch out a bit and see how it goes…so wish me luck!

Thanks for reading and hope everyone is doing well!

– Will

 

Mundane Monday

Well, it’s Monday again…no more weekend relaxation for five more days. I like everyone enjoy the weekend, and especially because it allows me to reduce the amount of time management I have to do in relation to my Cystic Fibrosis treatment, timetables, diet, etc. I can relax a bit on the weekends, and do things in a more slow paced fashion.

So, when the weekend comes around I start to get less stressed in general, and the reverse happens when the new week begins. I start to get stressed out, usually late Sunday, but sometimes not until Monday. Moreover, it always focuses around how I anticipate I am going to feel, and what I am going to have to do to compensate.

I’ve reached a point in my life where most of what I do is routine, and I’m used to it…it’s just my life. But, there are those few things that pop in and out of my routine, that throw a wrench into the gears. Some things become more pressing, some become less…creating a situation where I have to prioritize needs, instead of wants. In prioritizing needs things become extremely convoluted and, unless you’ve experienced it in such a defined way it is almost impossible to explain in a way which the average person could warp their head around.

You may be thinking to yourself I have had to prioritize needs before, and before you start assuming that I’m just making a mountain out of a molehill i’ll explain further. When I say prioritizing needs I don’t mean deciding between needing to get new shoes, or a new belt…or  deciding between needing to get a new piece of furniture or a new TV…or even something more personal like deciding between needing to fulfill a task given to you at work, or one given to you by a family member or close friend.

No, when I say prioritizing needs I mean deciding between needing to go to a Dr. appointment, or getting nutritional supplements…or deicing between refilling a prescription, or making sure you have enough food for the week. Maybe one of the worst of all deciding between what health information to share with family or friends, and what to keep to yourself…for fear of creating more stress or angst among those you love.

There are so many problems that we as CFer’s, anyone with a terminal, or lifelong illness face…some of them are easily adaptable, and some are so disconcerting that we would rather keep them bottled up than share, and have the possibility of allowing those problems to affect the ones we cherish. That is one of the harder parts of CF, it isn’t the coughing up blood, or aching all over, or even being stuck in the bathroom all day. It is watching those around you and feeling their pain as they look on helplessly. It is deciding between several things you have to have, and choosing between the MOST pressing of the issues on your plate to focus on. Making those choices of which need is more important, deciding what issues to keep to yourself, or even trying to shield the ones you love from your spilled over problems can sometimes be more taxing than any of the physical symptoms combined.

I guess that is the kind of problems I anticipate about the new week…what will pop up that I have to set other problems aside to focus on now? How will I approach the unapproachable amount of shit on my plate? And, how will I protect my loved ones from feeling, or even seeing my pain? They are questions I have yet to find answers to and I don’t think I ever will…

So, until I do figure out how to be “Superman” I will continue to do my best to put on a smile, move forward with my head up, but make sure I keep my chin down to avoid the unavoidable blows life throws at me (little martial arts pun). I will take things in stride, and try to keep my cool in all the shitty situations I am faced with, because that is what I have to do to keep my sanity, and to make sure the problems I have don’t become the problems of everyone around me, admittedly this doesn’t always work, but I will try regardless. I will smile, and laugh no matter how much of a terrible day I’ve had, and how badly I feel, because that’s all I have at times…is my inner strength, my will, and my ability to deal with the pain all day, but still smile.

 

Dating with Cystic Fibrosis

As I have created this page, I get more people specifically looking for CF pages than anything else, it isn’t really something of a topic most people will stumble upon and read just to learn more, and that’s fine…I’ve accepted that.

However, I have had a few friends read this page, people who have either a friend or family member with CF or know someone with CF…it isn’t a large group, but there are those who do.

One common question I get as my CF becomes more prevalent in my life, and it shows itself more than it did when I was a younger man. How is it dating when you have Cystic Fibrosis?

So, here’s the answer I give them: Dating in general is a hard thing to do, especially in the times we live in where most people just want a quick hookup, as there are no less than 5 apps/sites dedicated specifically to that. But, having something like CF where if the person you are dating finds out and looks it up before you can explain what CF is like, they’ll probably be scared off. So, if you can make it to the first date, be honest…it is the best way to break that uncomfortable barrier. If the person you are dating comes and is curious explain what CF is, but don’t be graphic and morbid, ease them into life with Cystic Fibrosis. Allow them to see, you are just a person like anyone else, just so happens you have CF and have to take some pills, and do some breathing treatments. Here’s where it can get tricky…the first time that person sees you “sick” will tell you everything you need to know about dating them. If they are caring, concerned, and curious chances are they are a good person for you to keep dating, most people like that are genuinely good people. But, there are also the ones who will be fine, until they see you sick and it will scare, intimidate, freak them out, or maybe just not fit into their idea of what they want in life, which is fine, but totally on them. You control what you can and the right person will be the person you need them to be.

As far as everything else goes i.e. long-term relationship, living together, sex, marriage, etc. It is all do-able with the right care, planning, and most importantly the right person.

Change in Progress!

I have been putting a lot of time and effort into making this page something besides a “blog page.” I want it to be interactive, to give us CFer’s, who sometimes have more time on our hands and time for our brains to go to dark places something to do. A place to come to just kill some time, or do something distracting. I am working on some very cool, or at least I hope that it is cool, stuff for this new site. Some interactive stuff, some story sharing, or maybe even real time chat, or discussion type setup.

I have been putting several hours a day not just into creating this new template, and design of my page, but trying to take it away form being just a blog. So, I hope you enjoy it, and it will be changing for probably a couple of weeks. When I am done though it should be pretty AWESOME!

I hope my ideas, design choices, and new direction of this is something y’all enjoy, and if you would share it with people you know so I can reach out to some other folks, who either have or know someone who has CF, I would really appreciate it.

I am worn out, as I have been looking at a computer screen for several hours a day at least for the past several days. So, please forgive the lack of new blog posts, and the “construction” of this new setup and design that I am implementing. Hopefully, when it is done, it will all be worth it. Goodnight, hope everyone has a great weekend.

CF Rundown (Cystic Fibrosis)

Here we are again, it’s 3:15 in the morning and I’m up, just had a pretty bad coughing spasm, and have been feeling real crappy. One of the things that most people don’t know about CF unless you have it, or have experienced it first-hand, is called CF rundown. It’s pretty self explanatory…so every so often we CFer’s get rundown from the constant state of being sick. From all of the coughing, the malnutrition, the over worked and underutilized muscles. All of this comes together in this horrible set of symptoms that is referred to as CF rundown.

Basically, it requires that we slow down, amp up the meds, sleep and eat as much as possible, and rest in-between. I know it seems like its an overkill of rest and refraining from activity and that true, it is. But, that’s the only way to get rid of this. Relax, eat, drink as much fluid as possible, don’t strain to do things, and don’t force yourself into activities that aren’t absolutely necessary.

The shitty part of rundown is there is no kind of way to tell how long it will last. It can last a couple of days, or a couple of months, that’s the part that really does a mind job on you, waking up everyday knowing you are going to have x,y,z problems is one thing. But, then adding on being super tired, feeling hot and cold simultaneously, and not being able to do the already paired down set of activities we have in our lives really is a bitch.

I remember back in college, when I got this I’d pop into the health center, get some antibiotics and some pain killers and be back at it, but when you have several months where you show up with symptom’s, and keep getting prescribed things like pain meds, it can cause real problems: physical dependence or even addiction, but that’s a whole different can of worms for another post. So, back to the health center, their job is to get you back into class asap without endangering other students health…so, the combo of antibiotics to kill infection, and pain meds to make the hectic life of a college student who isn’t feeling well manageable is really one of the best balances of safety and pushing it slightly. And 95% of the time that was all that was required. Mind you this was back in college, my health was in general better, and I wasn’t pushing 30.

Fast forward 10+ years, and here I am, its 330 am and I don’t have the ability to take pain meds to be able to stop coughing and fall asleep, I don’t have antibiotics right now, and since I frequently am on a set of antibiotics for a plethora of other reasons, the less I can be taking them the better.

So, things like rundown get dealt with by: eating more, drinking lots of fluids, sleeping as much as possible, taking extra ibuprofen, using showers to keep the shivers or sweats at bay, getting more fresh air than just the normal daily routine would involve, amping up the treatments, and any other little tricks that don’t involve adding a bunch of unnecessary meds onto an already pile of pills we consume in general, on a regular day.

It’s kind of funny with CF you learn little things over the years, I probably know more about meds than most of the doctors I see, and especially meds I have taken before, you have to. Also, how they interact with my body in particular. Every time I get prescribed something, before I will even consider putting it in my body, I do an insane amount of research, and find out everything I can about it, factual and anecdotal…including other people’s experience with said medicine, the side effects listed on the label, its interaction with certain foods or other meds, all of that comes into play. Then I will take it, but if a few days in I realize the pros don’t outweigh the cons I stop taking it, now this doesn’t include things like antibiotics because it’s not healthy to start antibiotics and then stop them. As, your body will start to build up a resistance to that kind of medicine, and since we need it to work as best it can we can’t afford to give it an edge by already having a bit of resistance to the strain of infection it’s trying to fight. It’s a very thin line you have to walk, and it is a delicate balance of knowledge, trust in the people around you, and knowing your body extremely well.

Dealing with Cystic Fibrosis, or other terminal, or even just long-term illnesses is a very volatile situation, it requires a lot of patience, and a strong positive mental outlook. If you don’t learn to develop those qualities you are really in for some serious battles both physically, but maybe even more so psychologically. It can do a number on the toughest of people and it is a fickle bitch, please excuse the language, as I’m pretty fed up…lol…ahhh! So, once again hopefully this gives you a bit of insight into CF, and a small look into the life, thoughts, and experiences of someone who fights daily just to breathe.

I appreciate you taking the time to read this, and if you know someone struggling reach out to them, it’s almost 4am and id give anything to have someone to talk to right now, but everyone I know is asleep. Having someone extend an olive branch to a person in my situation makes so much difference, it’s kind of unexplainable, at least in the vocabulary I know.

Anyways, that’s all I can think of right now, and I don’t feel like writing anymore, but hopefully something good is on TV. So…with that…goodnight!

TV/Movie Binge

This past weekend, I was going through my cable box movies, and sometimes for a day here or there, or even a weekend I notice that the “premium channels” HBO, ShowTime, Cinemax, etc. are open. Now, I watch a good bit of TV, but I’ve been trying to consciously reduce the amount of time I spend bingeing TV or movies, with CF that’s easier to say than do though.

When you’re laying up in bed after being in the bathroom for several hours, or you haven’t been able to keep food down because you’re coughing so much, TV is one of the easier ways to “escape.” Therefore, it becomes almost like a friend, you desire good TV and are mad when nothing is on or your cable provider is giving you a hard time.

Like I said though I’m kind of a frequent binge watcher, I can literally watch 2,3 movies in a row or kill an entire season of a show in 1 day and 1 night. So, it’s one of those things that is kind of like social media in that its annoying sometimes and doesn’t always go the way you would like it to, but its really nice having it when you need it.

Recently I was scrolling through my on demand options and noticed that all the premium channels were open, so I jumped right in…I watched several great movies, ones that I’ve been wanting to see but didn’t want to buy, or forgot about until I saw their title again. I watched “Legend” with Tom Hardy, AMAZING movie, right up my alley. I also watched the new “Fantastic 4,” which I found to be kind of boring and stale, especially with the cast they had available to them, it was just scripted weird and predictable. Then I watched the “Imitation Game” which I’ve seen before and is one of my favorite movies, but more so because Benedict Cumberbatch is a bad ass actor. I like this whole wave of European 25-40 year old actors that have taken over the movie scene in the past 10 or so years: Tom Hardy, Benedict Cumberbatch, Christian Bale, Gerard Butler, Daniel Craig, etc. After I had a chance to search through what was available, I also watched “Triple 9,” which was a little bit of a letdown, and not very well cut together. Finally, I watched “Burnt” with Bradley Cooper, and that wasn’t what I expected, but in a good way. It was super intense, but very good and I’m a fan of the guy from “the American’s” on FX who was basically his nemesis, or rival chef.

All in all I had a couple of days there where I was just zoned into the TV and being able to escape like that for someone like me with Cystic Fibrosis, or any terminal illness where time can almost stand still while you feel like shit, but fly by on the days when you are feeling ok, or even good is an absolutely amazing feeling Being that most of the time any escape is just a less of two evils type of thing i.e. if my stomach isn’t feeling so great today I won’t notice as vividly the ability to not be able to eat, or that I’m coughing up a bunch of nastiness. And on the flipside, if my breathing is raspy and I cant get a full breath, the last thing on my mind is how my stomach feels even though it doesn’t feel good, my preoccupation with my breathing takes the focus away from one and puts it on the other.

Funny as it is though sometimes neither matters, and I cant breath, I’m stuck in the bathroom , I’m sore and achy, I’m coughing up a lung, and bleeding out every orifice of my dysfunctional body. Those days are my “hell,” the other days are my normal, and as I get older the day that seem like hell are steadily becoming my normal and what I now consider “normal” are becoming the good ones…LOL it sucks, hands down.

So, with that being as much as I can get out of my fogged out brain today, I will say good afternoon, and hopefully everyone has a good rest of the week. Follow me on Twitter @William85887, and pass this blog along to someone you know whos going though a  hard time, maybe it will allow them to forget about their bullshit, by focusing on mine for a bit. I appreciate any who have stopped to check this site out, it means a lot to me. Feel free to message me on here or Twitter, with any questions, comments, advice, etc. I’m always open to meeting new people and hearing new, stories, ideas, or POV’s.

CF Life tip of the day: Don’t let your anger or frustration with your situation dictate how you treat people, always be kind, and if you feel like you’re going to “blow up” go close yourself in a room take 5-10 deep breaths, and try to think about the positive interaction you have had with that person. Not blowing up on someone when you don’t really mean to direct anger at them is a great feeling, and after a couple of times of harnessing in your aggression or negative feeling of any kind, it will become easier, and each time it feels a bit more satisfying.

CF Life Body Hack # 6: If you have to go somewhere and you don’t want to be coughing the whole time, which draws all kinds of weird looks, and unwanted attention, buy a pack of the most “natural” cough drops you can find. Take a few with you, and when you’re going to be around people pop one in your mouth and moisten it, but don’t keep sucking on it Then, tuck it back next to your jaw where you jaw meets your ear in between your gum and teeth. Now don’t do this all the time as stopping the natural reaction of your body coughing is not a good thing. But, if you need a hour here and there where you aren’t coughing up a lung or don’t want puke in front of a bunch of strangers this is a very good little trick.

Beard Trim Bound

It’s almost 2:20am and I’m still up and I’m pissed! I have been having a great f@cking day, now I woke up this morning feeling about the same as usual…but around 11:30am I got a boost of energy so I decided “hey I just got some new glasses the other day, so lets go get a hot shave and beard trim” so I get in the shower get my self going grab a couple boosts and I’m out the door.

I called ahead to the barbershop, Friends Barbershop up in the Johns Creek area, they told me to come one in they could get to me shortly. So I get up there, I was gonna have to wait for a bit, so I grabbed a drink and a magazine and waited for my turn in the chair.

Not too long and I was in the chair getting the barbers cape thrown over me, so I told them what I wanted and they went to work, cleaned up my beard, trimmed and straight razor complete! I’m paying and out the door, as I get out to the car my phone starts having a stroke, lol…then dead. Its done for. Luckily I’m right near the phone store.

So, I zip into Verizon and tell them what happened. they’re surprised the phone I had lasted me this long, apparently life span of smart phones is around 2 years…I’ve had my droid for almost 5…what can I say I have always taken good care of my things…part of the habitual OCD that comes with being a CFer. So, I plug it up at the store so they can see what’s wrong with it, and that it wasn’t something I did. Just wear and tear, so I look around for a bit, mind you I’m still a little behind on the whole tech, social media, phones, all that mess world. I just have many other things that come first and stuff like that is secondary or more like vigenary (20th).  “And for the record the progression is: 1st = primary, 2nd = secondary, 3rd = tertiary, 4th = quaternary, 5th = quinary, 6th = senary, 7th = septenary, 8th = octonary, 9th = nonary, 10th = denary, 12th = duodenary and 20th = vigenary.” -oxford dictionary.

Anyways..lol…so pick out a new phone after looking for a bit, one of the things that bothers me about these smartphones I how big they all are almost like DVD cases. not to mention being $400.00-$800.00 for a damn cell phone, wow. But I find one that’s probably the smallest one in the store width, and height-wise. I get all my stuff backed up and transferred to the new phone, decide I wanna use it for a few days to decide what kind of case I want to get etc. So, they slap the couple extra per month onto my bill and test call me and I’m out of there. I will say they’re pretty damn efficient, even if they’re trying to upsell you until the second you set foot out the door, no worries its sales, I get it.

I stop by the “adult beverage store” as I’ve had a pretty long day and am gonna need a stiff one when I get home and decide to eat some dinner, we had soft tacos, one of my favs. And I continue on with my night messing with my new phone getting it set up just like I like/want. I get comfy in bed and then all of a sudden my stomach tightens up…”damn it I know what this means, so off to the bathroom…but, nothing happens, nothing happens, and still nothing happens. Now, I’m not gonna get to graphic but, I’m dying here straining, and turning red, lol. Well, after over an hour I say screw this, jump into a scalding hot shower and head back to bed, but with that feeling still, which is one of the worst…id rather be anything than bound up…ahhh. Oh well, just CF life.

Well, now its 3:20am and I’m still awake with a stomach ache, this sucks. hopefully ill be able to sleep soon, but who knows. So I sit here figuring out all the little peccadillos of my new phone, down to the background of my txt messaging screen…lol. Here’s the old OCD again, everything has to be PERFECT.  Moreover, balance, categorized, and even symmetrical, down to how many screens I can slide between…1 home and 2 on either side…you know cuz balance…lol.

BUT, its giving me something to do, so I’m cool with that. I have made my second adult beverage (wild turkey…just FYI) and am gonna find a good movie to watch…hope everyone’s weekend plans are set, and enjoy them!

GOODNIGHT!

 

 

 

 

 

Struggling

Its about 1pm on Friday, and I’m struggling pretty badly. Haven’t been feeling too good this week at all, I’m definitely having a rough week to say the least. Just a couple of the things that have been ravaging me this week:

  • Cold –> hot –> cold –> hot –> Freezing…this weather where I live is strange to say the least. When it goes from hot to cold like this, especially this often, my body has to adjust and readjust, and it makes things incredibly hard.
  •  I had some kind of food poisoning, or at the very least a nasty stomach bug. Been in the bathroom a lot. When I’m not, I’m in bed trying to keep myself in the absolute    “right position” so my body can relax and give my abdomen a break.
  • Then there’s the outside stressors that have added onto the joy of this week like getting a notice that my car insurance is going up, and I still can’t find a reasonably priced health insurance.
  • Also, had a death in the family…my Grandmother’s brother died a few days ago, and when people around me die it makes me wonder how I am outliving these people who die for no reason, meanwhile I’m sitting here struggling to breathe, and I’m still alive. Just a weird sort of mind job I’d rather go without.

So, ya that’s what my week has been, riding the struggle bus for sure, but not because of a hangover or anything where I had too much fun. Just the regular old BS that having a chronic illness brings to the table. That’s also the reason I haven’t blogged in several days.

But, anyways…I am finally starting to get a little relaxation and some of these additional symptoms are going away. While I can I am going to try to get some stuff I need to get done handled. Hopefully everyone had/has a good week, and now weekend. Ill try to get up another post a little quicker next time. Hopefully today is the last day of this extra fun! Lol.

Sorry, I can barely think straight, so no CF tips, or body hacks on this post. I’ll add one the next time for sure.

Imagine…

So, it’s about 2pm and the Super Bowl is going to come on in a couple of hours, so with a small amount of time to kill, I am going to write this and then i’ll be done for the day, probably won’t post again until tomorrow. I am feeling pretty good today, aside from being congested a bit (the cold weather always does this to me) so I am trying to get some stuff done that I didn’t get done this past week.

As I’ve stated in previous blogs, I am seeking and trying very hard to find my place in this whole social media neighborhood, as well as finding my niche, if you will. Working a 9-5 is out of the question for me, getting creative about how to earn a living, and ways to create income while being happy at the same time is something I have been focusing on a lot recently. I find myself dreaming about being a spokesperson, or brand ambassador for clothes, cars, lifestyle consumer goods, etc. It is a bit daydream-esque I know, but it is my dream to be able to focus on my health, and have that focus be the platform for which I “sell” myself to companies showing the world what someone with Cystic Fibrosis can do with a bit of financial, or product backing. So, I have been researching what kind of companies “sponsor” people, and although there isn’t a lot of “individual sponsorship” for people who aren’t famous or star athletes, there are a few people who’s model I am going to try to follow, but in doing so I want to carve out my own path, something that really hasn’t been done much, if ever. Now, watch me transform my health, my life, and my community while dealing with the daily struggles of CF, but no holds barred. So, no filter, no censorship…the raw and real life that I live, but with the things I want and dream of being intertwined to a create a journey of regaining my former glory of health, so to speak. A full vision of what my life is, the roughest and best parts of it. Intertwined hopefully with some kinds of product, service, and financial support I am doing everything I can to attain. So a car commercial, a clothing commercial, a food commercial all rolled together and how it pertains to me and my health, the way I have to do certain things, and how those products or financial backing play a roll in what I do, when I do it, and how I do it. I realize there are a lot of “if’s” in the idea I am figuring out how to bring to fruition…there are already hurdles I had no idea I would run into, so I understand it’s very presumptuous to think I can do this or obtain the things I hope to obtain…it’s my dream though, and I am doing everything I can with what I have available to me to make it a reality, hopefully one day I’ll be looking back reading this saying “I did it, I’m here!”

How it looks in my mind: I wake up and the camera is already rolling “a day in the life begins.” I roll out of bed and do my morning coughing and hacking routine where I maybe reach for and drink, thanks to their sponsorship, my bottle of Gatorade.

Then I get all of my medications and treatments out of the way, while I play around on my computer or video game (given to me by the electronics company that sponsors me with their product’s) and relax while listening to my earphones…

As I finish up and start down to the kitchen to make some breakfast I open the fridge containing all the Boost, yogurt, etc. that I can consume, with the help of their generous sponsorship, my product placement is me nourishing my tired, sore, weak body with a couple of chocolate Boost’s and a yogurt to get my blood sugar up.

Next is bathroom and shower time, this is my personal time to get my mind right, and allow the hot water to reduce the tension in my muscles and relax my body…afterwards I use my skincare, or sore muscle creams to ease the rest of the pain and continue my day.

I come out to head on in and get dressed, depending on the day’s tasks, appointments, business meets, etc. I reach for a certain garment of clothing provided to me by my favorite outdoor apparel company, or if it’s serious business, I select a suit and tie from the couple of tailored suits given to my by a generous men’s business attire company. I then throw on my New Balances, or my Sperry’s or my penny loafer’s…all depends on what I have to do that day.

As I finish up and get ready to head out, I go out and start the truck, sedan, or coupe generously given to me to get around, and act as a rolling advertisement, by my automobile sponsor. Which is decked out with ad placement in the form of stickers, or a certain “full-body” decal, or a window flag, maybe even a creative license plate, or paint job.

I head off to the meeting where I am doing a collaboration for a podcast, a meeting with a pharmaceutical company about their new allergy medicine, or their new version of a rescue inhaler, even something generically taken by many people Advil, or Tums…whatever company willing to throw their support being me, I will give my all in helping them reach the goals of said company.

Now, this is entirely fantasy based post, none of this real as of now, and none of these companies support me in any way, this is basically an: if I could wake up tomorrow and be in a world created totally by my dreams and wishes scenario. Idealistic would be good description…but, fantasy is more on point. This isn’t probably something that’s even possible to do, as most professional athlete’s don’t have this kind of sponsorship…but, just imagine…being able to focus on my health totally, not having to worry about what I was going to wear, how I was going to get form point A to B, what I was going to eat, if I was able to afford my medication, and doctor appointment. If it were all, or even partly covered by some kinds of help from the corporate world it would change my life.

These are the kinds of things I dream about…not luxurious trip’s, or expensive watches, the newest iPhone, the most sought after rims for a car, endless margarita’s, or anything of the sort. I dream of being able to, as If I didn’t have CF, just LIVE, to do the daily activities most people take for granted as they move forward in life purchasing their first car, their first home, having children, getting married. It’s not impossible, but it’s very improbable that I will have that kind of life, the Cystic Fibrosis is an incredibly heavy ball and chain that keeps me in the place I’m in, basically just keeping my head above water is requiring all of my energy and time. So, my dreams include the things that would allow me to flourish, or just have what most people consider “normal.”

Again, I know how this sounds, trust me I see it the same way, but that doesn’t mean I am not going to try…because you never know. Someone reading this could be a fortune 500 executive, and decide hey I like this guy’s idea, and id love to help him get his health back in order…let get the ball rolling…lol. I know, I know…but I can dream right? lol. Anyways, enough of this high fantasy, back to reality it is. Either way I appreciate you taking the time to check this out and have a great day, be safe while enjoying the Super Bowl.