Struggling

Its about 1pm on Friday, and I’m struggling pretty badly. Haven’t been feeling too good this week at all, I’m definitely having a rough week to say the least. Just a couple of the things that have been ravaging me this week:

  • Cold –> hot –> cold –> hot –> Freezing…this weather where I live is strange to say the least. When it goes from hot to cold like this, especially this often, my body has to adjust and readjust, and it makes things incredibly hard.
  •  I had some kind of food poisoning, or at the very least a nasty stomach bug. Been in the bathroom a lot. When I’m not, I’m in bed trying to keep myself in the absolute    “right position” so my body can relax and give my abdomen a break.
  • Then there’s the outside stressors that have added onto the joy of this week like getting a notice that my car insurance is going up, and I still can’t find a reasonably priced health insurance.
  • Also, had a death in the family…my Grandmother’s brother died a few days ago, and when people around me die it makes me wonder how I am outliving these people who die for no reason, meanwhile I’m sitting here struggling to breathe, and I’m still alive. Just a weird sort of mind job I’d rather go without.

So, ya that’s what my week has been, riding the struggle bus for sure, but not because of a hangover or anything where I had too much fun. Just the regular old BS that having a chronic illness brings to the table. That’s also the reason I haven’t blogged in several days.

But, anyways…I am finally starting to get a little relaxation and some of these additional symptoms are going away. While I can I am going to try to get some stuff I need to get done handled. Hopefully everyone had/has a good week, and now weekend. Ill try to get up another post a little quicker next time. Hopefully today is the last day of this extra fun! Lol.

Sorry, I can barely think straight, so no CF tips, or body hacks on this post. I’ll add one the next time for sure.

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Super Bowl, RISE UP Falcons!

This is my second blog today, but it is Friday, and it is also a couple of days away from the Super Bowl. Now, I’m not a huge NFL guy…my sport is basketball, and my addiction/hobby is Golf, lol. However, I enjoy the fact that my city’s team is going to the ship! It’s been a while, so it’s nice, especially since it is one of those things that brings us together as a group of like-minded citizens, of the same community, all pulling for the same outcome. It’s a great thing to witness the crap we see, and deal with on a daily basis put aside for the love of the game.

So, hopefully I am going to be going to a buddy’s house down in the city of Atlanta to see him for a bit, probably watch the first half with him and his wife, as well as a few close friends. Then I am going to be heading back North to around where I live where a good family friend is throwing a Super Bowl block party, and it should be a lot of fun. Also, a few of my fraternity brother’s are going to be there with their wive’s, and being that I don’t get to see them often I am very excited.

Now, I am going to give a quick few tips about doing things like this with a condition like CF, or anything that requires lots of medications and making sure certain things are present or available. So here goes: Don’t stuff yourself the day before a day when you are going to be eating and drinking a lot, you will feel less lethargic and have more energy for the big day. Wake up and turn on some good music, music that you like to jam out to. Straighten up your surrounding a bit, as returning to a nice clean house/room is very pleasant, and reduces stress. Exercise! You will be eating and drinking a lot during the day of the game, usually “junk food” type stuff, and soda’s, beer, etc. This will give your body a good start to the day, and make room for all that good grub! After you get dressed, grab an extra change of clothes, just in case you spill a drink or sit on a plate of wings. Also, get all of your stuff together and load it up, then look at it a couple of times to make sure you have all of the things you need. After that, just get yourself ready and head out. Drive carefully, as the drunk folks will be out, in high numbers. But, enjoy the day, the game, the company of good friends and family, and the experience as a whole…getting to a Super Bowl is a big deal, everyone will be elated, and this will rub off on you.

Well, that’s about it for the Super Bowl festivities, and the day in general. Like I said, I hope everyone has a great time, and gets to watch a good game of football. To my Falcon fan’s RISE UP and let’s win this thing!!

CF Life tip of the day: An empty bottle cleaned and dried out, then lined with a plastic baggy is a great way to carry a re-usable spit bottle around. When you’re almost full, zip the baggy up, and throw it away, then put in a new one. Boom! Now you have to only bring 1 bottle for a day, and off to the races…you’re good to go for the whole day. For the cost of a couple plastic baggies.

CF Life Body Hack # 4: Keep a couple of small bottles of honey around the places you spend most of your time. It is an incredible superfood, and it tastes great! Also ,it is not possible for honey to go bad, it just crystalizes. If that happens stick in next to your body in your pocket for the body heat or pop in the microwave for a few minutes, and back to liquid it goes. It can coat your throat if you cough a lot, your esophagus & stomach lining if you’re having a lot of reflux. Alongside all of that it is great for a quick healthy pick me up, just pour a couple of spoonful’s down your gullet, and go about your day. Enjoy!

“Off the record”

YES, it’s Friday afternoon, and I have had a rough week. However, most of the time the silver lining of CF or life in general is only visible behind a cloud of unpleasantness. I have been trying to raise some awareness to this invisible illness Cystic Fibrosis, that so few American’s have, and in doing so I have realized some things about people in our society. The term out of sight out of mind is an insane thought until you put some thought behind how YOU operate in your day to day life. Think about it, when you have a sick friend, or pass a homeless person in your car, or see a dog get beat by some dickhead it bothers you, however as soon as that next thing pops into your brain its replacing that “bad feeling.” Its not that we do these things on  purpose, its just in our nature.

Imagine what the world would be like if every time we saw a homeless person we stopped and helped them. If every time we saw a sick friend we did everything in our power to make sure they were on the path to getting better, or at least getting help. These thought have lead me to a silver lining thought: We need to put our money where our mouth’s are. So, I am going to start doing this at least once a week, I am going to go out of my way to help somebody, but here’s the catch, none of what I do is going to be recorded, or even shared with anyone. I am going to do everything I can to keep it between me and the person I am helping. I could be something as simple as helping an older lady load her groceries, or getting a meal for a homeless person without asking first, “just do it” (as NIKE says…

This isn’t really a new concept, but it is one that isn’t employed enough, we too often just go about our business. Sadly, I am guilty of this as are most if not all of us. So, I ask that you reach out and help someone at least once a week, if not once a day. I know that’s asking a lot of people who are already very busy, and spread thin. But, I believe we can make more of a difference than we feel we can as one person, if it’s a bunch of us doing it the results will be amplified greatly. Now, it can be someone you know, or a total stranger…but, please be safe while doing this. Some people are looking to take advantage of kind-hearted people so use good judgement. With the Super Bowl just around the corner we are all planning a party, or making arrangements for gluttonous amounts of food and drink to be available to us. Meanwhile, just down the road the man on the corner is starving and sleeping outside. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own problems we forget to reach out and realize that there is always someone who has it worse.

I have Cystic Fibrosis, it sucks horribly, it’s painful, and it makes most daily activities very difficult…if not impossible. But, I have a bed to sleep in, clean clothes to wear, and food to put in my belly. I’m not asking you to go give everyone who looks down on their luck $100 bill…I am asking you to give them a bunch of bananas, or allow the lady with a crying baby and three toddlers to go in front of you in the checkout line, simple things that can have a greater impact than the action taken.

Hopefully your week wasn’t too rough, and have a great weekend. Be safe, there will be crazy, drunk, idiot’s out driving around from party to party watching football, and consuming huge amounts of alcohol. Enjoy the game, RISE UP, and watch the Falcon’s win this thing!

Your Weekend Plans…?

TGIF!! It’s Friday afternoon, and I love the feeling this day brings…it’s like a small holiday once a week, I’m weird I know, lol I’m glad I have the ability to laugh at myself though. So, yesterday I took a huge step outside of my comfort zone, and I posted a video on YouTube and blogged with a link to said video. Now I have 12 views, and a couple of new followers! I have to admit it scared me to put myself out there like that, but I did it, and am glad I did. As for me I’m going to start today, and use my weekend time to get a little more versed in the social media stuff I’ve been a little behind on. I’m going to update my Twitter, as it has been stagnant since its inception. I am probably going to look into Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr, etc. to see what fits with my desired platform blueprints. Also, since my first video was kind of raw, and not very professional I am going to look into ways to better my recording process, and I think I will probably need a new camera as the one on my computer doesn’t seem to be very decent. If I had the money I’d just go right now and buy one, but ill have to figure something else out until I can swing that. I am super excited because I really feel like this is going to allow me to do what I want to do, and that is help people who feel like they’re alone, with nowhere to turn. It’s hard to put yourself out there not knowing what will become of the vulnerability you show, but so far it’s been worth it!!

Anyways, that is what I intend to do with my weekend, what about you? What are your plans? Going to a movie, party, or yummy restaurant…leave a comment and let me know. Also, I am going to do a social “mixer” at some point in the near future. I am not exactly sure how I am going to facilitate and accomplish this. However, I’ve got a couple ideas that will hopefully allow people to come together (probably virtually) and share some ideas and stories in real time. I will be trying out several new things on my site, blog, and YouTube channel so keep an eye out. Any ideas or suggestions are welcomed. Hopefully everyone had an ok week, but are ready to have a great weekend! Thanks for stopping by, it’s always very much appreciated.

CF Life tip of the day: Instead of using expensive box tissues, buy some cheap but soft rolls of toilet paper to keep near where you spend the majority of your time e.g. bed, car, desk, etc. That way you have something to cough into instead of your hand, tissues for your nose, and even a “napkin” in a pinch.

CF Life Body Hack # 1: Getting sore, uncomfortable, bored, or just not in a great mood? Go to an outside area where you can get some fresh air, give your entire body a good stretch. Now, starting at your feet flex then relax your muscles progressively moving upward all the way to your forehead, make sure your breathing is controlled and steady. You should notice immediate improvement in your mood, as well as physically being more comfortable.

 

45 minutes until Christmas Eve!

So it’s December 23 at about 11 o’clock in just a bit it will be Christmas Eve! This time of year I really get a lot of “natural high” from the smells, sights, and sounds…It rocks! I finally figured a good way this year to get some stuff done quicker…look online first and then go shop if you need to, lol. I know obvious, right? Nope, not for me, I usually just suck it up take some Advil or Ibuprofen, and hit the stores for hours on end. I’m also super weird about what I get people, and it takes me TIME. Triumph, I finally got it done, I’m ready for Christmas…time to relax. Warming seasonal beverages, egg nog, good food, and family are just my favorites and everything else that goes with it is an bonus. I enjoy presents, and I prefer giving more than receiving actually but, its all fun! Well its late, I’m tired, and sore from sitting in the same position for 2 hours wrapping presents…sweet!?…no. Merry Christmas!!

It’s Friday! With CF…

As I sit here it’s Friday afternoon December 16th, it’s about 4:00 and I’m finished with all of my tasks, chores, work, etc. for the next few hours I can sit here and mess around on the computer…when I first got onto this site I wasn’t totally sure what I was doing. Now, I realize it’s more of a website, with the ability to blog and connect with people. I am kind of behind the curve when it comes to the “newest social, technological” stuff. I don’t have an Instagram, or snapchat. I’m always a little late to the party, and eventually I’ll probably have all the social media apps…as of now I’m just on Facebook, I used to have a MySpace (I know old school as hell!) lol. So, starting this site was a new experience for me, but I like it, I enjoy the ability to share my story and I’ve already created a couple of blog posts, this being the latest. Back in the day I could easily feel my way around a computer or the latest game system or gadget just fine. Now, I feel like an old man, I don’t know how half of this stuff works and it’s funny to see the circle come around fully. Again, it’s Friday afternoon, and I’ve got a few hours I can use on something I wouldn’t normally, so I’m gonna shoot the shizznit so to speak.

It got really cold here in GA in the last couple days, like way cold! When the weather changes like this it reminds me of being back at Southern waiting to come home for Christmas break, or already being home. Going out with friends, partying, etc. was part of what I enjoyed about this time of the year. As I sit here writing and thinking I havent been “out partying” in a long time. Now I will go out occasionally, but not like I used to. My body just can’t handle that stupid stuff anymore, nor do I have the desire to do so, guess I grew out of it…lol. The funny thing I have noticed as the years go on is the way I portray myself or the way I wish to be portrayed. I don’t desire the party life anymore, or to be the life of the party, and it’s a good thing because my body isn’t made for that kind of life. Also, I realize how much dumb stuff I got away with doing that I definitely wouldn’t get away with now, especially being that the CF has reared its nasty head into my life pretty intensely in the past several years. Due to my health I try to look at things from a positive POV as opposed to a negative being that I deal with so much negative already on a regular basis. I enjoy the fact that I had those experiences and the person it made me is much more capable, my mental fortitude is leaps and bounds over what it used to be, and I’m just more experienced in this thing we call life. However, sitting here with nothing to do does allow me to stroll down memory lane…bringing up some great memories, but also some bad ones.

Let’s go back a few years…2005-2009 era. I was a recent high school graduate who was in pretty good shape physically and mentally. I had a really bad experience with a doctor around then that i’ll write about another time. So, back to the portrayal of my Cystic Fibrosis towards the outside world. I didn’t want people to automatically associate me with being a “sick person” so I didn’t let that stuff show, except to a small percentage of my close friends, maybe my roommate’s really knew, my really close friends, and my immediate family. Other than that you wouldn’t know I had a problem in the world, and that’s the way I liked it. I worked out religiously, was actually pretty jacked, tanned every other day, and was out at the bars Thurs-Sat like everyone else. Hitting on smokin’ sorority girls and getting into trouble with my fraternity brothers, it was great! However, the next day i’d be puking my guts out sick as a dog while all my buddies were up and maybe a bit hung over but nothing in the realm of what kind of hell I was bogging through, i’ll just say I was an idiot and did some unintelligent things. I was young, naive, and invincible…or so I thought. For instance, Friday I had no classes, so after we were ok from the night before we’d all get together. We usually got together at mine or my pledge brother’s house, as our house was by far one of the coolest houses in Statesboro, with a pool in the backyard, a sick ass wrap around back porch, and even what we called the “tiki hut” which was a small shed we used to store stuff, it even had a service window which made it amazing for parties. It also housed the majority of our outside entertainment: golf clubs, pool toys, frisbees, footballs, etc. It was also where we kept our outside music system so we didn’t have to worry about it getting wet. It truly was one of the coolest setups i’ve ever seen, especially in Statesboro. So, after we all got showered and swagged out we’d all meet at the house to park for the night and start our shenanigans. I’d say on a normal night there’d be anywhere from 3-10 of us pregaming at one house or another. We were kind of known as the party fraternity, we were one of the first fraternities on greek row and we had a reputation: girls either hated us or loved us…there wasn’t much in between. But, I will say it was because we were pretty crazy, we used to say “don’t threaten me with a good time.” Anyways…once we’d figure our plans for the night we’d get ready and then go HAM…it was all about how much fun we could have, how much partying we could do, and how many girls we could get to go dirt road ridin’ with us. So, we’d get a driver to pick all of us up, and take us where we were going for the night, or where we’d start the night. It was purely about hedonistic, balls out, badass fun. Every second of it was a great experience, and we all were brothers to the core. This was our routine basically every week starting on Thursday after classes let out.

Anyways, in doing all of this I was doing two things mainly: trying to enjoy every second I could (I was totally aware at some point my health would start deteriorating) and trying to hide what symptoms i did show of the CF like my cough, spitting, going to the bathroom more frequently, etc. But, i did a pretty good job of camouflaging this stuff for a good long while. Actually, I was more prone to over compensate based on the CF, so It was easier to hide my problems if I was at my house, or a friend’s house, as compared to going to the bars…but, when i went to the bars i overcompensated even more, it was bad. So, to shorten a really long story…I overcompensated by being super macho, and overdoing things to show that my CF didn’t have any bearing on what I did or who I was. It was a great lie that I told the whole world, and sometimes even myself. I have some of the best memories from those times, I also have some times I can’t remember entirely, and some of the worst times of my life all rolled into one college experience. I wouldn’t take it back, because it made me who I am today, however, if I had a time machine I would definitely do some things a bit differently…to say the least. LOL

This post kind of took several off shoots and different storylines, I may go back and clean it up a bit, but the point of this website, and blog is to show you the unfiltered life of someone with Cystic Fibrosis, not just the good, or just the bad, but an entire picture…with as many details as I can remember. Wow, as I sit here having insane trips down memory lane, looking through pictures, reading stories, posts, notes, and old messages it is enveloping me in the life I used to live. It gives me mixed feelings, as I wish I could be young again. Like everyone says when you’re a kid you want to be an adult, but when we grow up all we want is one last run as “kids.” So, I may tweak this later, but it’s Friday…i’m going to make some grub and relax my body/brain from a draining and grueling week. Enjoy your weekend, enjoy life, and thanks for taking that trip down memory lane with me!