TV/Movie Binge

This past weekend, I was going through my cable box movies, and sometimes for a day here or there, or even a weekend I notice that the “premium channels” HBO, ShowTime, Cinemax, etc. are open. Now, I watch a good bit of TV, but I’ve been trying to consciously reduce the amount of time I spend bingeing TV or movies, with CF that’s easier to say than do though.

When you’re laying up in bed after being in the bathroom for several hours, or you haven’t been able to keep food down because you’re coughing so much, TV is one of the easier ways to “escape.” Therefore, it becomes almost like a friend, you desire good TV and are mad when nothing is on or your cable provider is giving you a hard time.

Like I said though I’m kind of a frequent binge watcher, I can literally watch 2,3 movies in a row or kill an entire season of a show in 1 day and 1 night. So, it’s one of those things that is kind of like social media in that its annoying sometimes and doesn’t always go the way you would like it to, but its really nice having it when you need it.

Recently I was scrolling through my on demand options and noticed that all the premium channels were open, so I jumped right in…I watched several great movies, ones that I’ve been wanting to see but didn’t want to buy, or forgot about until I saw their title again. I watched “Legend” with Tom Hardy, AMAZING movie, right up my alley. I also watched the new “Fantastic 4,” which I found to be kind of boring and stale, especially with the cast they had available to them, it was just scripted weird and predictable. Then I watched the “Imitation Game” which I’ve seen before and is one of my favorite movies, but more so because Benedict Cumberbatch is a bad ass actor. I like this whole wave of European 25-40 year old actors that have taken over the movie scene in the past 10 or so years: Tom Hardy, Benedict Cumberbatch, Christian Bale, Gerard Butler, Daniel Craig, etc. After I had a chance to search through what was available, I also watched “Triple 9,” which was a little bit of a letdown, and not very well cut together. Finally, I watched “Burnt” with Bradley Cooper, and that wasn’t what I expected, but in a good way. It was super intense, but very good and I’m a fan of the guy from “the American’s” on FX who was basically his nemesis, or rival chef.

All in all I had a couple of days there where I was just zoned into the TV and being able to escape like that for someone like me with Cystic Fibrosis, or any terminal illness where time can almost stand still while you feel like shit, but fly by on the days when you are feeling ok, or even good is an absolutely amazing feeling Being that most of the time any escape is just a less of two evils type of thing i.e. if my stomach isn’t feeling so great today I won’t notice as vividly the ability to not be able to eat, or that I’m coughing up a bunch of nastiness. And on the flipside, if my breathing is raspy and I cant get a full breath, the last thing on my mind is how my stomach feels even though it doesn’t feel good, my preoccupation with my breathing takes the focus away from one and puts it on the other.

Funny as it is though sometimes neither matters, and I cant breath, I’m stuck in the bathroom , I’m sore and achy, I’m coughing up a lung, and bleeding out every orifice of my dysfunctional body. Those days are my “hell,” the other days are my normal, and as I get older the day that seem like hell are steadily becoming my normal and what I now consider “normal” are becoming the good ones…LOL it sucks, hands down.

So, with that being as much as I can get out of my fogged out brain today, I will say good afternoon, and hopefully everyone has a good rest of the week. Follow me on Twitter @William85887, and pass this blog along to someone you know whos going though a  hard time, maybe it will allow them to forget about their bullshit, by focusing on mine for a bit. I appreciate any who have stopped to check this site out, it means a lot to me. Feel free to message me on here or Twitter, with any questions, comments, advice, etc. I’m always open to meeting new people and hearing new, stories, ideas, or POV’s.

CF Life tip of the day: Don’t let your anger or frustration with your situation dictate how you treat people, always be kind, and if you feel like you’re going to “blow up” go close yourself in a room take 5-10 deep breaths, and try to think about the positive interaction you have had with that person. Not blowing up on someone when you don’t really mean to direct anger at them is a great feeling, and after a couple of times of harnessing in your aggression or negative feeling of any kind, it will become easier, and each time it feels a bit more satisfying.

CF Life Body Hack # 6: If you have to go somewhere and you don’t want to be coughing the whole time, which draws all kinds of weird looks, and unwanted attention, buy a pack of the most “natural” cough drops you can find. Take a few with you, and when you’re going to be around people pop one in your mouth and moisten it, but don’t keep sucking on it Then, tuck it back next to your jaw where you jaw meets your ear in between your gum and teeth. Now don’t do this all the time as stopping the natural reaction of your body coughing is not a good thing. But, if you need a hour here and there where you aren’t coughing up a lung or don’t want puke in front of a bunch of strangers this is a very good little trick.

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Dave Matthews Band

It’s almost 3 am, and I’m sitting here watching some basketball, listening to “Louisiana Bayou”…wide awake, and bored as hell.

I just went and checked out what the Dave concert coming to my city in May had left tickets-wise…I usually get lawn seat anyways so it shouldn’t be a problem. But, I don’t know how I am going to feel come 5/31…which sucks. Especially because I’d rather have a seat that doesn’t make me super sore afterwards…yay for CF…lol.

I’ve been to several of the concerts in the past ten years…maybe 3-4 and I love it, he’s one of my favorite live musicians by far…but, getting sicker as I am I don’t know if I can make it this year, and that bums me out.

If you’ve been following my blog at all you know I have Cystic Fibrosis, and that I’m trying some new avenues of approach in life, income, activities in general…and basically my approach to being sick all the time and only getting worse, as CF is a progressive degenerative disease.

I haven’t blogged in a few days because I’ve been going through some rough shit, all kinds of unexpected health stuff, family stuff, and just random things that when added on to the already heaping pile of shit on my plate, is like the straw the breaks the camel’s back. I know I complain a lot but I guess that is what this blog is for me…a way to share my pain with people without having to pay a therapist, or annoy my limited number of friends to the point that they want less to do with me than they already do. Its pretty lonely having a genetic disease that restricts your ability to participate in the lives of the people you’ve grown up with and call friends.

So, like I said I just got of Ticketmaster, and am thinking if I can get a family member to “birthday purchase” me some tickets I may go, but if not, I probably wont be able to…sad. I sound pretty f#cking pathetic tonight…I must say. Whatever though, like I said I use this as an outlet so I don’t go nuts keeping it all in.

I am still in the process of trying to find some sponsors or companies that want a CF patient as a brand ambassador, but so far…no luck. Which is ok, I didn’t expect it to happen fast, if it ever happens at all. But, damn…lol. I could use some help in a major way.

If you know anyone looking for a person to sponsor, or if you know a company looking to do some philanthropy, or even a store looking for a brand ambassador…please pass the information along to me, or give them my email: pmma85887@gmail.com. I would be grateful. Also, me and a comedian buddy are going to start doing a podcast, something like “CF kid and the Canuck” or “Laugh at my Sickness with me.” We haven’t started yet, so it’s still in developmental stages obviously, but again, any ad placement or capital would help move things along. And, like I’ve said before compensation will be met with advertising, and promotion…I’m trying to set up some partnerships! Keep me in mind…

Anyways, as I haven’t posted in a while I’ll quit my whining, and get back to the usual…here are my CF Life hack’s, and tip’s of the day:

CF Life tip of the day: Don’t neglect your physical appearance, I have been guilty of this frequently, not getting haircut’s, or wearing sweatpants out…keeping yourself looking good, even if you don’t feel good, can in and of itself boost your mood, and give you a mental edge. As well as dressing nice, it definitely makes you feel better about yourself, and boosts your self-image.

CF Life Body Hack # 5: Sleep with your body in a fixed position, using pillows, keep your head above your torso, this will keep mucus from draining into the back of your throat, which makes it much easier to breathe throughout the night, also, it doubles as keeping reflux from making its way to your esophagus as easily…which with something like CF can literally wake you in a panic thinking you’re having a heart attack…it’s incredibly beneficial. Try it!

Super Bowl, RISE UP Falcons!

This is my second blog today, but it is Friday, and it is also a couple of days away from the Super Bowl. Now, I’m not a huge NFL guy…my sport is basketball, and my addiction/hobby is Golf, lol. However, I enjoy the fact that my city’s team is going to the ship! It’s been a while, so it’s nice, especially since it is one of those things that brings us together as a group of like-minded citizens, of the same community, all pulling for the same outcome. It’s a great thing to witness the crap we see, and deal with on a daily basis put aside for the love of the game.

So, hopefully I am going to be going to a buddy’s house down in the city of Atlanta to see him for a bit, probably watch the first half with him and his wife, as well as a few close friends. Then I am going to be heading back North to around where I live where a good family friend is throwing a Super Bowl block party, and it should be a lot of fun. Also, a few of my fraternity brother’s are going to be there with their wive’s, and being that I don’t get to see them often I am very excited.

Now, I am going to give a quick few tips about doing things like this with a condition like CF, or anything that requires lots of medications and making sure certain things are present or available. So here goes: Don’t stuff yourself the day before a day when you are going to be eating and drinking a lot, you will feel less lethargic and have more energy for the big day. Wake up and turn on some good music, music that you like to jam out to. Straighten up your surrounding a bit, as returning to a nice clean house/room is very pleasant, and reduces stress. Exercise! You will be eating and drinking a lot during the day of the game, usually “junk food” type stuff, and soda’s, beer, etc. This will give your body a good start to the day, and make room for all that good grub! After you get dressed, grab an extra change of clothes, just in case you spill a drink or sit on a plate of wings. Also, get all of your stuff together and load it up, then look at it a couple of times to make sure you have all of the things you need. After that, just get yourself ready and head out. Drive carefully, as the drunk folks will be out, in high numbers. But, enjoy the day, the game, the company of good friends and family, and the experience as a whole…getting to a Super Bowl is a big deal, everyone will be elated, and this will rub off on you.

Well, that’s about it for the Super Bowl festivities, and the day in general. Like I said, I hope everyone has a great time, and gets to watch a good game of football. To my Falcon fan’s RISE UP and let’s win this thing!!

CF Life tip of the day: An empty bottle cleaned and dried out, then lined with a plastic baggy is a great way to carry a re-usable spit bottle around. When you’re almost full, zip the baggy up, and throw it away, then put in a new one. Boom! Now you have to only bring 1 bottle for a day, and off to the races…you’re good to go for the whole day. For the cost of a couple plastic baggies.

CF Life Body Hack # 4: Keep a couple of small bottles of honey around the places you spend most of your time. It is an incredible superfood, and it tastes great! Also ,it is not possible for honey to go bad, it just crystalizes. If that happens stick in next to your body in your pocket for the body heat or pop in the microwave for a few minutes, and back to liquid it goes. It can coat your throat if you cough a lot, your esophagus & stomach lining if you’re having a lot of reflux. Alongside all of that it is great for a quick healthy pick me up, just pour a couple of spoonful’s down your gullet, and go about your day. Enjoy!

Jammin Out!

Not too much is better than catching an old song you haven’t heard in a while…that nostalgic feel comes rolling in almost pulling you back into that time totally.

I have been trying to add some different stuff to my blog to reach a wider variety of readers, pull them in hopefully then they’ll see my other stuff, and start following my site or Twitter, etc. So, today I’m sitting here going through old Facebook posts, looking at old pictures, and jamming out to tunes back from college days, and there isn’t much of a better feeling than getting into that groove. I love it!

I had a rough couple of days there with the CF, but am feeling a bit better today, and in a bit I’ll have to go run some errands. Catch up on the pile of shit on my overloaded plate, and try to taper back on the overflow of procrastinated chores of daily life with or without CF…but, I revel in these days, the days that allow me to look back at the previous and realize I do have GOOD days, and they aren’t all BAD…it’s hard to pull yourself out of the moment when a day is bad or when stuff isn’t going your way. However, when those good ones roll around it makes you appreciate them that much more. So, if you’re having a bad day, week, month…just try to keep your head up and press on. Hopefully at some point it will ease up and allow you to enjoy the good, but appreciate the bad for allowing your to notice the good. And, with that I am going to go try to knock out some of these errands before the other shoe drops…lol. Hope everyone had/has a good day!

CF Life tip of the day: pick up a pack of sterile rubber gloves next time you are at the pharmacy…put a couple in baggies and keep some in your car, your favorite jacket, etc. The next time you have to pump gas, or use a public restroom, slip the gloves on and cut down on the chance that you’ll get some kind of nasty bacteria, or germs from stuff. Especially because people are so ignorant about good hygiene. It’s a huge stress reliever when you need to do something and there the gloves are…less worry!

CF Life Body Hack # 3: Feeling tired, or just out of it, having been sick the previous day? Go get a hot shave from a male hair salon. They will hot towel your face, head, and neck, use a straight razor with all the accoutrements of the trade…it is amazing how much a hot straight razor shave will improve your mood. Also, good grooming habits tend to make you feel better anytime. Enjoy!

Living, not just Surviving.

Saturday morning…wake up, stretch, enjoy the fact that it’s the weekend, is there any better feeling after a long week? I don’t think so, and as I sit here typing  and listening to music with some college basketball in the background I revel in the joy simple things can bring. That is one of the hardest things I’ve come to discover about CF, is that if you don’t live when you can, you will only survive…and that isn’t any good at all. Sadly I’ve had times where I’m just surviving, but I’ve come to a point where I was so stressed, tired, angry, sad, depressed, everything was hell! Several years ago it hit me like a ton of bricks with razors embedded in them. I decided right then and there that was not going to be my mindset going forward. After a doctor appointment with my amazing head shrink I did it! I literally just quit with all the negativity, the yelling, the being mad, the hate, and the distrust in life. I walked out about 20 steps outside the building and that was it, I was done being miserable!

Now, please don’t get me wrong, life for me isn’t easy by any stretch of the imagination…it’s hard, it sucks, it makes me want to freak out. However, I now have control over my mental faculties to a point where I can be miserable all day, and still enjoy a drink, a good conversation, movie, book, anything…It is an amazing weight lifted, I was always walking around in a toxic head state. After having a few years of rational, reality based thoughts, and not losing my shit every time something happens I am in a much better place in general, but more specifically mentally I am solid. So, in my current situation, I deal with the same “problems,” I just handle them 50x better, and it’s amazing how it changes your outlook, your perception of life. It was a damn hard thing to accomplish, but it was worth the time, effort, self-doubt, self-loathing even to get to where I am now. If I hadn’t gotten better I would probably not be here anymore…which is weird to think that would’ve been what brought me down.

Anyways…lol…but, feeling better about life is a good thing no matter how far gone you seem it’s always possible to gather up your broken parts, put them together, and move forward. I did it, and so can you! I won’t be simple, straightforward, quick, or any form of basic nonchalance you can think of. In the end though it will be worth it, you’ll look back and smile at how far you’ve come. I believe all of us can attain our happy place in life, and with a little help from people with knowledge and experience it is absolutely able to be done. Having said that, if anyone whos reading this needs, or knows someone who needs a little bit of help/guidance please don’t hesitate to ask me…that’s is the point of my attempt at this site, and blog. I want to be there for the people who feel like there is nowhere else to turn and nothing good in sight…no light at the end of the tunnel is a horrid feeling. Please, do not feel like you’re alone, you aren’t and I would love to help you understand that. Lets change our perspective’s and be happy!! Hopefully everyone is having a great weekend, and enjoy the rest of it to the fullest!

CF Life tip of the day: Do not compare yourself to people who aren’t walking in your shoes, or who have never walked in shoes like yours…Trying to fit in is just human nature, but be happy with your place in life and find the places, people, and activities that make you the person you want to be. It pays dividends to be happy being YOU.

CF Life Body Hack # 2: As soon as you wake up drink a half-bottle of water before you do anything else, and then use the rest to take your morning meds, after that slam something nutritious into your stomach (yogurt, fruit, crackers, smoothie/milkshake) something you enjoy enough to use it most days. The water will lubricate your system, and loosen up mucus. The nutrition will give you the needed energy to get your day going while you tough out the difficult stuff (coughing, hacking, bathroom, etc.)