Spoiled little lady

Well, here we are it’s Saturday evening, I am feeling much better after that spat of CF rundown I dealt with for several weeks.  YES!!

I woke up today, and checked my phone for messages, emails, missed calls, etc. I went through the emails, responded to the texts, and called back the one person who I needed to call back before the week.

Then I got up and did my morning routine, had my bottle of water with my 10 +pills, and a few doughnuts, with my coffee then a yogurt. Yum…lol.

After I finished that up I took my dog Mollie out, and we frolicked around a bit she loves this weather, not too hot not too cold, and super windy. Then we came in and got a treat for the spoiled little lady. She is such a sweetie, and she brings me so much joy and happiness when I am down, and even lifts me up further than I am when I’m feeling good.

So, we came in and I went to the bathroom, and grabbed a quick shower, and got dressed.

After I had a few mins to relax after all of my morning routine, which included coughing up a lung, luckily I didn’t puke today…lol…yay! So, sometimes I don’t even think about that stuff but want to include it on my blog so y’all can see what days are like for me. But, often I forget because I’m used to it…it’s an everyday thing. So after about 30-45 mins I am good to go.

I flipped off my music, nd turned on my TV, because its Saturday which means College Basketball all day! So I put my DVR on and went to make some snacks, drinks, etc.

I made some vanilla cinnamon spiced tea, and another coffee, as well as a nice glass of milk, to go with the peanut butter/honey sandwich, crackers, and chicken noodle soup I whipped up.

So I brought it all up to my room, and started in the games…going through the ones I wanted to watch and skipping the ones I wasn’t to fond of or that better ones were on instead at the same time. Meanwhile, munching on the goodies I had prepared after my shower.

Well, now it is about 645pm and I’m still going on the basketball games, but I also realized that Lord of the Rings is on…the new ones…so I flipped over to the basketball games so I could DVR the 3 LOTR movies instead.

Now, I’m waiting until I have those backed up enough that I can fast forward through the commercials (I hate commercials…lol) and am finished up my tea, and talking with my family about what were going to do for dinner…thinking about a mini Thanksgiving dinner, one of my favorites!

Anyways, that’s how my Saturday post CF rundown is going and I hope all of yall’s are going well also, as I don’t get much time where I feel this good, I wanted to write and show y’all that I’m not always downtrodden…I am sometimes very uplifted and fun, who knew? Haha, sometimes I have to force myself to remember how much fun I used to be, and doing so brings it to the surface a bit more.

But, I am going to go enjoy the rest of my day, probably snack a bit more before dinner, and maybe even have an adult beverage in a bit, especially if we have turkey for dinner, it makes me feel in Holiday-ish mood. Sooo, everyone have a great rest of the weekend, enjoy your family and friends, and don’t forget to reach out to someone if you know they are going through a tough time, as call from a buddy or “bff” can really lift someone’s spirits and not expecting a call and getting one makes it that much more appreciated, even if they forget to say so…

LOL, my little lady is sitting here laying on my feet, she obviously want to go out again, and since its such a beautiful day I will make a drink and go sit outseid with her until she gets bored, then we will come back in have a treat, “rinse and repeat.” Love this little goofball!! I’m out, thanks for reading…

High and Low

I just recently got over a pretty bad bout of CF rundown, and I noticed something that I’ve thought about a lot over the past several years. I have a lot of variance between high’s and low’s in my life. So much so that I’m used to it to the point where its just normal to me. I know everyone gets used to their life as “normal” and I guess that’s part of my point, it’s strange what we can become used to…

I know people who are used to drinking everyday until they pass out, I know people who don’t drink at all and only do hard drugs, I also know people who have had 3 kids since high school, and all of them are used to their lives. It’s just their normal, and that’s fine, no judgment here…I’m not a judgmental person. But, it does make you think about what things in your life are just your normal and how easily you can get used to that stuff.

I have been “sick” since I was 3, when I was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. Everyday since then I have taken 20-40 pills, done several breathing treatments, and had very specific dietary restrictions, and requirements…depending on my current health situation that stuff can vary and fluctuate. But, I see how other people live and they don’t have to do this stuff, when I noticed the difference at a young age I realized my normal was different but didn’t really have to think about that as an indefinite life path until around the beginning of highschool. That’s when it started to affect how I thought about things and how I approached things. Then college rolled around and I tried to push that stuff to the back of my mind, and “hide” my CF with more medication, and things that wouldn’t be considered medicine, but more “self-medication.”

As the time in college passed I slowly became a little more aware of how different my life was going to end up as compared to my friends, classmates, and fraternity brother’s. I realized they could whenever they chose change their life path and do something different, but I was always going to have CF, nothing I could do would change that.

Now, I’m pushing 30…and I sit up at night and wonder what would be my life if I didn’t have CF, what would I be doing and where would I be right now? Its a question that really messes with me sometimes, other times I handle it well. I’m sometimes referred to as a morbid person, but I’m not really, I just have had to come to terms with death from a young age. Which allows me not only to look at things differently, but look at life itself in a way that most people don’t get to ever. I sometimes find myself classifying it as a blessing but other times I classify it as a curse. I definitely have an “old soul” as people so often say, but people don’t realize its been aged more by my life and health circumstances until they really get to know me.

Anyways, I’ve been in a pretty bad low for the past several weeks, maybe a bit longer, and can tell I am coming out of it, but I’m still in it enough to have the vantage point that kind of messes with my head. I don’t want to be sick…it sucks. I don’t want to have all of this extra shit to do all of the time, but I do, and it will never change. I just have to deal with it the best I can and so that is what I will do. So, having said that I realize why peoples normal is different, but I envy those who can change their normal…because I can’t…and I will never be able to.